I'm a Survivor

Well I have found a few moments to escape the black hole that has been my life lately. I officially survived my first few days as a teacher. I sweat surprisingly less than I thought I would and there were fewer butterflies than expected, but nothing could stop the occasional moments when "how am I going to do this?!?" ran through my head. From what I can tell I have great kids, but the loss of my summer has caused me to grieve (please don't judge). I think more than anything else I feel like I'm walking on a tight rope. I have every tool to succeed, I get a thrill out of doing something I've always wanted to do, but the balancing act of being a new teacher in an established system causes me to take quite a few deep breaths throughout the day. Each day is a step of experience, still I anxiously look forward to making it to the end of the year and triumphantly saying "I made it!" Honestly, what has gotten me through the week besides an awesome husband and a few phone calls to my parents is the reality that my role as a teacher is far greater than my lessons or classroom management. God has gifted me in an incredible way and in my weakness His power is made perfect. I have clung to God in so many ways over this past week and I have overcome fears, felt peace, put one foot in front of the other, and done other things that I could not have done without a belief that God is an intricate God who is weaving the details of this season of my life into an incredible experience; one that will reveal some of the most amazing things about God to me and to those who I have the privilege (something obligation) of interacting with. So with that, I'm not entirely sure how this week will go, I still feel a little worn out from last week, but life is good.

Now for some pictures of my room.

I'm back

After a vacation, welcoming my sister back from Indonesia, and a week at church camp I have returned to blogging. There is so much to tell, but due to the lack of sleep at camp I can only form short thoughts.

Vacation thoughts...
Daniel and I had a blast in Portland and San Francisco. It was nice break from the heat and humidity of Kansas. The walking tour of Portland, Redwood Forest, and Alcatraz are my top three memories from the trip. It was also nice to celebrate our one year anniversary with a vacation. The year was full of transitions some easy and others not as much, but God was incredibly faithful through it all. Daniel and I have grown better individually and for each other, which trumps the work it takes to be married.

Church camp thoughts...
I was not all together thrilled about spending the week away from Daniel, but it turned out to be one of the coolest things I've done all summer. If I had to come up with a catchy line for camp it would be 'Tan Lines and Changed Lives.' It didn't matter if kids were already Christians or were introduced to it for the first time, everyone took away a challenge to be the men and women we're called to be in Christ through serving others. It's crazy to think about this being different than charity and more like laying down our ambitions to be part of a bigger picture that is God's love in action. Besides the opportunity to love on kids and challenge them there was plenty of time in the sun to get a tan. I was able to take advantage of the sun and came home with a sweet flip flop tan line.

One funny story among many was my slip and slide experience. I decided to face my fear and go down the slide. Unfortunately I didn't get quite the momentum I needed to make it all the way to the pool of water at the end. The youth group girls described it was preciously pathetic. Oh well...at least they'll remember my attempt.

All in a all it's been a great past couple of weeks. Tiring but good. Now it's time to get ready for school....AGH!!!

Interesting Facts

A friend passed on this questionaire and thought you might enjoy having this information about me on hand. Enjoy!

1. What’s your staple meal (ie. what meal do you cook most often when you can’t be bothered to be adventurous)?

Chicken Alfredo Bake -- A nice take on traditional alfredo.

2. What do you want to be when you grow up?

I dreamed of being a teacher and an astronaut. I think I achieved both of those dreams because I will be teaching Spanish this year and we had our wedding reception at the Cosmosphere...kind of like being an astronaut, right?!?

3. What book are you reading at the moment (if any)?

The Lies Women Believe, And the Truth That Sets Them Free. It's an awesome book that takes a look the process of deception, how women act on it, and the biblical truth that can break the cycle.

4. How do you relax?

Reading! Reading is to me what a cold beer at the end of the long day is for most people.

5. What color are the interior walls of your home?

Earth tones. I'm personally attached to the soft brown in our kitchen and gray blue in our bedroom because I chose the colors myself. I was a sight to behold the week I painted the house.

6. What is your guiltiest pleasure?

HGTV. I could never be a designer because I take too long to make decisions and I'm not willing to design any other way than my own style, but I love to watch other people design rooms. The only good thing about Daniel not being home is that I can watch as much of HGTV as I want. First Time Design is my new favorite show.

7. What time is bedtime and getting up time?

We're usually in bed around 10:30 or 11, although in the summer I'm a lot more willing to stay up and watch a movie. Unfortunately Daniel doesn't have the same summer spirit...pesky job. Right now I'm trying to get up between 7:30 and 8. I'm not entirely sure how I can need so much sleep, but I honestly feel like anything less that 9 hours is not enough sleep for me.

8. How long do you spend reading blogs (per day or per week)?

I check to see if anyone has updated their blogs a couple times a day, so I guess that means I spend a decent amount (that's about as quantifiable as I get) of time reading blogs.

Soakin' in the Sunshine

I should maybe re-title this soaked by the sunshine. This past weekend Daniel and I went to his family farm to help out, which is the closest thing you'll have on most farms to a Father's Day celebration in late June. In the afternoon Daniel and I raked and bailed hay. I got the job of raking in an open air tractor, thus meaning the amount of air conditioning was determined by how quickly I drove against the wind. It actually wasn't all that bad, but somehow my clothes were stuck to my body like a leather jumpsuit. Daniel showed me the ropes the first couple times around and I had moments of roller coaster like screaming. Those pesky hills seem huge even if we were only going 10 mph. I got the hang of things pretty quickly except that while trying to not re-rake some hay I got too close to a brush area and hit the outside rake wheel on a tree. It bent the frame holding the wheel a little and as a result the wheel wasn't spinning like it should. Luckily Daniel and I switched it with the back wheels and things were good to go. Lynn (Daniel's dad) said it was no big deal...I just had to heat it and beat it back into shape the next time I came...I considered the day a success because we helped accomplish something, my pores were fully purified, I'm on a hydration kick (it's amazing how far I'm from getting the recommended amount of water/day), and I didn't get sunburned.

In other news, our women's church league softball team is 2-0. Our first win came by default of another team's forfeit, which left me wondering how good we actually would be, but last night we rallied to win 5-4. I had a great time and forgot how much fun it is to play on a team, especially a team who is humbled by the passing of time since playing in high school, but still puts together some respectable fielding and needed hitting.

Dipstick is into chasing his (we're 90% positive it's a he) tail. I guess when something is the opposite color from the rest of your body it only seems natural to not realize it's yours. He is becoming very playful and loves to jump and tackle things. Don't worry, Dipstick is still able to find plenty of time to sleep.

Finally, am I the only one who can't believe next Sunday is the 4th of July?!?! Seriously, it doesn't seem possible that almost a year ago I was about to get married. I still distinctly remember last year's 4th since it marked the one week to go point and I assure you that memory is too fresh to be essentially a year old. Point being, I'm fascinated with the passing of time right now, something I imagine only increases with age, and I need to get on my teaching and scrapbooking projects before I find myself wondering how it's already August!!!

Dipstick

Last week Daniel and I made an addition to our family. The story is as follows...

A delightful thunderstorm was rolling through as Daniel was leaving for work. I say delightful because I knew that the dark sky and rumbles of thunder would make it easy to sleep in. Little did I know how much a little meow could disrupt this. I heard something outside my window, but I thought it was just a bird, but after a little while I knew it had to be a cat. "No big deal," I thought, "the cat will move along if I ignore it." Didn't happen. Finally I knew there would be no sleeping in and I ventured to see what was out there. I was expecting a cat, but what I found was a little fluff ball that was getting rained on. I tell you God made no mistakes when giving animals survival skills. I couldn't help but bring it in. I gave it a little milk and thought about what to do with it (keep in mind this was after I called my parents to see what to do.) I was completely ready to give the kitten to the animal shelter if need be and there was a momma cat running around outside our house. Either option seemed smart, but an unfortunate/fortunate attachment had formed on my part. So I told Daniel that if after leaving the kitten outside the whole night and the mom hadn't claimed it we could keep the kitten. Daniel thought about it as we watched the kitten through an open window. Suddenly the kitten was halfway inside the window after it had climbed the brick on the side of our house and jumped through the window. This was the only convincing Daniel needed to agree that the kitten was worth keeping. Well the kitten was still here in the morning...

So we became the proud parents of a wall climbing, cute kitten. Still, this cute kitten had fleas and since most flea medicines can't be used on cats under 12 weeks, Dawn, which kills fleas immediately, is the best alternative. I didn't know that fleas took blood from their victim, but apparently anemia to the point of death is a leading cause of death for kittens. Let's see if you can do a problem solution scenario...Fleas, possible anemia, no flea medicine (problem), solution? You guessed it, a bath with Dawn soap. Daniel was great enough to wear tube socks (so his arms didn't get scratched) and help me bath the kitten in the kitchen sink. Keeping a cat in suds for 5 minutes is not for the faint of heart and it's true that there's nothing sadder than a wet cat.

Prior to the bath, Daniel had been insistent that the kitten be named Dipstick because of the tail coloring (see picture). I tried to come up with an alternative, but it seemed to be a losing battle, and after I considered Daniel's willingness to give the kitten a bath, it seemed as though there was no choice, so Dipstick it is. Once dried and flea free, Dipstick is a fluffy kitten and an enjoyable companion. We are still working on whether it's a boy or girl, but all in good time.

Dipstick made a trip to Hutchinson this past weekend as Daniel and I traveled there for a wedding. My parents got to be kitten sitters for a while and I'm concerned/excited to see what they will be like when we bring a human baby. My dad has Dipstick as the photo background for his phone, and when talking to my mom on the phone yesterday, she asked me how Dipstick was doing before showing the slightest concern for my well being. It seems as though they are the proud grandparents of a kitten.

Productive(ish)

Well after a total disaster as far as productivity yesterday, I vowed to use my time better today. While I enjoyed my naps and book reading I knew that I was just avoiding tasks that weren't as easy to start. Unfortunately or fortunately, avoiding my to-do list only makes me feel worse. The challenge is to take the blah feeling I get from avoiding and being lazy and translate it into action. So today has been full of small steps. I haven't completely whipped myself into shape, but I have done the laundry, unpacked from our long weekend, cleaned the kitchen, and mopped the kitchen floors. It makes me feel so good to be a good steward to my time. So here's the question of the day, why do I, and I'm guessing a few others out there, resist doing things that have intrinsic and extrinsic benefits (exercising, tackling a to do list, etc.)?

In other news....

1. Daniel and I got to enjoy our family and friends this weekend. I saw some Kappas at a wedding in the KC area. I love the opportunities life is presenting right now, but man oh man I miss being around the people who I had an established college career with. There's vitality and realness I experience when I catch up with those who were part of my K-State and Kappa story. We experienced some of life's most exciting times together and opened ourselves up to each other when we were little more than strangers and ended up finding a genuine friendship. I know I will make friends throughout my life, but the bond I have with my friends from K-State is very strong and I feel a sadness when I realize weddings and occasional phone calls have replaced day to day interactions. For everything there is a season and I'm grateful for wedding season!

2. Caroline made is safely to Indonesia. It's a little crazy that's she's thousands of miles away for two months, but I'm so proud of her. It takes confidence in a vision to set off on a trek to a new culture and country to share life with strangers.

3. I'm not meant to be a rodeo clown. While working cattle this weekend a little stampede occurred. Two bulls started fighting in the pen we had corralled the cows into. When one of them got beat he decided to move along at a forceful pace. This caused all the other cows in front of him to do the same. When I heard Lynn, Daniel's dad, yelling I thought he wanted us to move with the cows closer to where we would load them. No, no he wanted us to get out of the way. I have an odd tendency to have a deer in the headlights look when I see large animals coming my way (this oddly means I have been in enough situations to pick up on this tendency). Luckily Daniel yelled at me to jump on the fence and I listened thus avoiding being knocked down by very large and very fast moving cattle. I only have a couple bruises on my shins to show for my life saving jump to the fence. Better than the broken body that would have been the result had I not gotten out of the way. Moral of the story, appreciate the beef you eat because working and herding cattle is not an easy job.

4. I am in the process of reviewing textbooks for my class next year. Below are the two different samples I got. If I had to choose just on packaging the job would be done, but I should probably look through the books. I'll let you know which one I choose.

It's Summa Time

I should hopefully be posting more frequently now that my days at Fredonia High School are offically finished. The last day of school was less than exciting, so much so that I didn't have one little tingle of the last day of school feeling. I'm not sure if the kids weren't happy about what their summers held, or if there was so much apathy towards school that the break summer provides is not much different than the break they've been all year. Either way, I'm pumped about summer and think it's fitting to start the break off on the right foot by sharing my list of the top things I want to get done. I am now held accountable by all my followers.

1. Create our wedding scrapbook.

I'll be honest I did not have the artsy photographer who can snap photos from creative viewpoints and more importantly artistically edit them later. If I had to do it all over I would probably choose a photographer whose focus is catching the littlest of details and making the normal seem like a piece of artwork. Still, I have quality pictures from our wedding and plan to add my own creativity by making a scrapbook. I'm hoping and guessing that my final product will prove to be more special to me than what any expensive photographer could have done.

Here's an example of what I mean by "artsy" photography.

2. Outline school year.

I hold no ideal notion that I can write lessons for a year and have the school year follow my exact plan. However, I know all too well that half the time it takes to create lessons comes down to making handouts, presentations, etc. and doing the research. I know the basic things we'll cover next year in Spanish, so having a general idea of how the year will progress, making a few standard handouts, and really hashing out what my expectations are for the class will be a big step towards having a survivable first year of teaching. I'll have a better idea what exactly I want to get done before school starts once I have a textbook chosen.

3. Yard work/House work
These are pretty self explanatory. I am struggling with my green thumb. Things I've planted are living, but there are a few things that look a little worse for wear. I've come to the conclusion that flowers are like babies, things happen to them that make them unhappy, but they are unable to tell me what's wrong. We'll see how well my plants are doing come August. I hope to be quite the nurturer in the end.

4. Read...A LOT!

Getting a library card was the highlight of my day, which is anything but lame in my mind. With it I checked out three books, all of them historical fictions. I feel motivated by my to do list, but reading could be the one thing that takes my focus off what I should get done. Not the worse thing to happen, but I'm sure Daniel would not appreciate the excuse that I could not make supper or mow the yard for days at a time because I was reading a good book. I'll keep you updated on the pages read to other tasks worked on ratio throughout the summer.